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A Gatordade-soaked onion can charge an iPod. The beverage's electrolytes mix with the cells of the onion to create electricity. How exciting is that?

The thing that amazes me is that a standard white onion can easily absorb a cup of liquid.
Emergency onions should be sent to places of severe flooding. Once laden with water, they can be sent to draught stricken areas for squeezing, thus replenishing the land. Then they can be sautéed with garlic and made into a nice tofu curry for the masses.